Friday, July 4, 2008

Little Kickboxer in me

I've always been excited to feel that feeling to have those "butterflies in your tummy". Always makes me wonder, how it really feels like. Is it going to be painful, ticklish or something? Until my 4th month, there I started to feel something weird moving in me. It's ticklish and then suddenly that WHAPAAK! OMG! was it my baby? Did my baby just kick? T'was so exciting like I'm watching an action-packed movie and there's guns here and bombs there. A bit exaggerating, huh. Been weeks now and I'm still not used to having a kickboxer inside of me. At times, it makes me imagine having a mini-Spiderman in here crawling in my womb. Also like a swimmer, who swims back and forth but without a race. Since then, been my habit to keep the stethoscope on my headboard just to check what it's doing inside. So nice listening to it move, like bubbles popping, splish-splashing, imagine under water, that's exactly how it sounds. Everytime my baby moves/kicks, gives me question as to what exactly is he/she doing in there. Could it be playing, feeling uncomfortable so it's trying to find a better position, hungry, or what? Leaves me wondering all the time. Daddy even tries to make it a point before we sleep to talk to it so it'd behave and rest with us. I know, it's having a rough day too just like me. So, I make it a point to soothe it by talking to it, reading stories to it at times and even sing (knowing it's such an agony to hear me singing...hahaha)

Oh baby, I love you so much. Your Dad loves you very much too. We're so excited to see but we can wait until your full term has come. While waiting just sit back, hold on, be strong and healthy. I'm always praying to God for our safety, your good health, being normal, strong and complete, full of love and of wisdom. I love you baby, my little Spiderman, my tiny swimmer, my child.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

From Bebeh to Daddy

Today, my hubby and I are celebrating our 42nd "monthsary" (that's 3 years and 6 months).

I love you bebeh. Or should I say, Daddy?

Been almost 4 years now since we've known each other. It's really a long and complicated of which I apologize because I can't blurt out the whole story. It's just too long. Anyway, now I'm having a hard time on practicing calling my hubby, "Daddy" or "Dad", since I've been used to calling him "Bebeh" or "Beh" for roughly 4 years now. It's just not that easy. But I need to, so that our baby will know how to call his father as "Daddy" once he arrives into this world.

Sometimes, I know I get our baby confused everytime I mention baby, since there are 3 babies in the house. My niece, Bridgette, of which I call "baby", my hubby, of which I call "bebeh" and this little swimmer inside me, which of course I also call "baby". Can't call it by its real name yet as to we haven't found out yet whether it's boy or girl. That's what we're going to find out on my hubby's birthday, which is also Check up/Ultrasound Day. So mates, watch out for that!

I gotta start calling my hubby from now on, "Daddy". I love you Daddy.

Thanks for always being there, so patient, so loving, so caring, so responsible, so loyal. If not for your being so kind, we wouldn't have ended this way, a happily ever after.

I love you so much and I know that you know and you can feel that. Been keeping my promise and I will forever stick to that, no matter what happens.

I love you and I appreciate every effort that you do and most of all admire your determination in achieving your dreams. I'm sorry if I may make you feel tied down sometimes, but I've always wanted you to achieve them. I'm happy if you're happy because I love you.

Congratulations, you're becoming a father now and I, a mother. I know we'll be well, God is with us, nobody can ever stand against us.

I love you Daddy and I love you baby.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Hi to Pregnancy!

So just after reading the title, what were you thinking? I bet a lot of you knows about it already, that's why for the knowledge of the others, I'm posting this! Been carrying this blessing for 18 weeks and 4 days now. Shocked to hear that "I" called this a blessing? I can't blame you, as for many of the people who knew me don't label as that optimistic, fond of babies and wanna-have-a-family-at-young-age type of person. People know me as a person who'd want to achieve more and always being on top of my game, but as the old saying goes, "People change." So, why can't I?

God, you wouldn't believe me if I'd say that since last year, I've already decided on what to name to my future baby in case, it's a boy or a girl. Addicted as I am to number 8, it's been my dream to be married on August 8, 2008 or 8-8-8. The luckiest day for Chinese people (it's been lucky for me before knowing about that though). I'm such an 8 freak that everything that has 8, I go gaga over it and sometimes, take it as a good sign for a good happening. Because of this, I often
get myself to arguing with my teammates who luckily got that number on their shirt, pestering them to swap with me. Sad to say, they don't want to trade with me and it sure pisses me but anyway, still pisses me when I remember it. *sniff* *sniff*

Before the year 2008 struck, I was already hoping I'd have a good luck on that mystifying year. Superstitious I can be sometimes, I searched the internet (Yahoo! horoscope, as always) about 2008 horoscope under my sign. Kapoosh! There it was, the prediction just hit the right spot, "Be
married.....and have a baby."

Since the time I yahooed the net, can't stop thinking about it already. A pang of enlightenment and fulfillment of the prediction filled my whole system. Like I've been SO CERTAIN, backed up by my gut feeling that the prediction and my dream will connive on 2008.

When March 2008 came, the period I so wished not to come, didn't come! I've never been delayed in my entire womanhood, only advanced. As any normal woman would do, I waited for days and weeks before concluding, 3 weeks after my expected first day of period to be exact. After many days of hoping for the period not to come, then and there, my hubby and I bought two PT. After the result, just as I thought, I never felt any regret nor fear, just pure happiness and excitement that it's positive.

From that day on, I rarely feel fear but never guilt nor regret. I always counted myself as one of the lucky woman who completely welcomes this arrival. Pitying those who ignore and feel ashame about it. Shame on you, you don't deserve that blessing. Should have been given to unfortunate barren women who've always wanted to carry, bear and have a child.

I detest listening to news about babies being abandoned and preggies who undergo abortion. F.U.!

Anyway, enough of the swearing. I'm just so happy. It's real and exciting. Now, you know mates that I've changed. Change of opinion and maternal instinct, both of these may have conquered me but I can never revoke from these. I've welcomed it with open arms and legs, everything that I can open just to welcome it.

And so mates, now, this is me, I'm happy for me so be happy for me.